From a narrative written by himself, we glean a few facts and incidents connected with the conversion of President [Jonathan] Edwards, born in Connecticut in 1703, elected president of New Jersey College in 1757, and deceased in 1758:

      "I had a variety of concerns and exercises about my soul from my childhood; but had two more remarkable seasons of awakening, before I met with that change by which I was brought to those new dispositions, and that new sense of things, that I have since had. The first time was when I was a boy, some years before I went to college, at a time of remarkable awakening in my father's congregation. I was then very much affected for many [189] months, and concerned about the things of religion, and my soul's salvation; and was abundant in duties. I used to pray five times a day in secret, and to spend much time in religious talk with other boys; and used often to meet with them to pray together. I experienced I know not what kind of delight in religion. My mind was much engaged in it, and had much self-righteous pleasure; and it was my delight to abound in religious duties. I with some of my school-mates joined together, and built a booth in a swamp, in a very retired spot, for a place of prayer. And besides, I had secret places of my own in the woods, where I used to retire by myself, and was from time to time much affected. My affections seemed to be lively and easily moved, and I seemed to be in my element when engaged in religious duties. And I am ready to think, many are deceived with such affections, and such a kind of delight as I then had in religion, and mistake it for grace.

      "But in process of time, my convictions and affections wore off; and I entirely lost al] those affections and delights, and left off secret prayer, at least as to any constant performance of it; and returned like a dog to his vomit, and went on in the ways of sin. Indeed I was at times very uneasy, especially towards the latter part of my time at college; when it pleased God to seize me with a pleurisy, in which He brought me nigh to the grave, and shook me [190] over the pit of hell. And yet it was not long after my recovery, before I fell again into my old ways of sin. But God would not suffer me to go on with any quietness; I had great and violent inward struggles, till after many conflicts with wicked inclinations, repeated resolutions, and bonds that I laid myself under, by a kind of vows to God, I was brought wholly to break off all former wicked ways, and all ways of known outward sin, and to apply myself to seek salvation, and practise many religious duties, but without that kind of affection and delight which I had formerly experienced. My concern now wrought more by inward struggles and conflicts, and self-reflections. I made seeking my salvation the main business of my life. But yet it seems to me, I sought after a miserable manner; which has made me sometimes since to question, whether ever it issued in that which was saving: being ready to doubt, whether such miserable seeking ever succeeded. * * * My concern continued and prevailed, with many exercising thoughts and inward struggles.

      "The first instance that I remember of that sort of inward, sweet delight in God and divine things, that I have lived much in since, was on reading the words, 'Now unto the King eternal, immortal, invisible, the only wise God, be honor and glory for ever and ever--amen' (1 Timothy 1:17). As I read those words, there came into my soul, and was [191] diffused through it, a sense of the glory of the Divine Being; a new sense, quite different from anything I ever experienced before. Never any words of Scripture seemed to me as those words did. I thought, how excellent a Being that was, and how happy I should be, if I might enjoy that God, and be rapt up to Him in heaven, and be as it were swallowed up in Him for ever. I kept saying, and as it were, singing over those words of Scripture to myself, and went to pray to God that I might enjoy Him, and prayed in a manner quite different from what I used to do; with a new sort of affection. From about that time, I began to have a new kind of apprehension and idea of Christ, and the work of redemption, and the glorious way of salvation by Him. An inward, sweet sense of these things, at times, came into my heart; and my soul was led away in pleasant views and contemplations of them. And my mind was greatly engaged to spend my time in reading and meditating on Christ, on the beauty and excellency of His person, and the lovely way of salvation by free grace in Him. These words used to be abundantly with me, 'I am the rose of Sharon, and the lily of the valleys' (Canticles 2:1). They seemed to me, sweetly to represent the loveliness and beauty of Jesus Christ. * * * The sense I had of divine things, would often of a sudden kindle up, as it were, a sweet burning in my heart; an ardor of [192] soul, that I know not how to express. * * * After this my sense of divine things gradually increased, and became more and more lively, and had more of that sweetness. The appearance of everything was altered; there seemed to be a calm, sweet cast, or divine glory, in almost everything. * * * I had vehement longings of soul after God and Christ, and more holiness, wherewith my heart seemed to be full, and ready to break; which often brought to my mind the words, 'My soul breaketh for the longing it hath' (Psalms 119:28). I often felt a mourning and lamenting in my heart, that I had not turned to the Lord sooner, that I might have had more time to grow in grace."

[THW 189-193]