I began to feel the first convictions for sin, while attending preaching and prayer-meetings, in my tenth year; and when the brethren and sisters would rejoice and praise the Lord aloud, I wished that I could rejoice with them. And I doubt not but that I would have embraced the religion that makes soul and body happy, at that early age, had not my dear parents been opposed to it. They were unconverted, and had a wrong idea of the good work.

      A young girl, who had pious parents, invited me to attend several meetings, for the purpose of getting religion; but I dared not go. I told her to go by herself, and get her soul converted, and I would wait till I was eighteen years old--thinking that I should then be my own master. She went, and she was converted, and then came and told me how happy she felt. This led me to conclude that I would not wait till I was eighteen; and thanks be to God, I did not wait till I was even thirteen. At a protracted meeting held, some time after, I fared better, as I had the privilege of attending it more than formerly. At that meeting one of my sisters, who was married, went to the altar of prayer, and that was a source of rejoicing to me, as I thought it [179] opened the way for me. My sister found Christ precious to her soul, while attending an experience meeting in the morning. She then encouraged me to seek the Lord, and interceded with my parents for permission, which was obtained. I attended the meeting in the evening, and thought of going to the altar; but now the enemy of souls had a new difficulty to throw into my way. I saw an unconverted sister of mine in the house, and was tempted to fear she would laugh at me. My converted sister came to me, urged me to go forward to the altar, which I did, and she went to speak to my other sister. By and by she returned to me again, and said, "Jesus is just by your side, waiting to forgive your sins, as soon as you believe on Him" (Matthew 18:20). I believed it to be so: and that moment my soul was filled with glory; and I was enabled to praise God, as I had heard the brethren and sisters do it before in prayer-meetings.

      Satan has often tried to make me believe that I was not born again (John 3:5); and that I had not the love of God shed abroad in my heart, by the Holy Ghost, which is given unto us (Romans 5:5). And at a camp-meeting, nearly a year after my conversion, he proved victorious, by making me believe I had fallen from grace. I prayed almost all night, and next morning I regained my confidence in God, by receiving a blessing. Since then I have often [180] heard brethren say how Satan had tempted them to believe they did not enjoy religion. Then I found that it had been a stratagem of the enemy in my case; and had I not believed him, I should not have felt as miserable as I did at said meeting. From that on, he has often tempted me in the same way; but on praying to God, I always find Him a present help in every time of need; and I feel like relying on that precious promise, that whatsoever I ask in faith in the name of Jesus, I shall receive (Matthew 21:22; John 14:13, 14), I was baptized some time ago, since which I feel stronger in God. I realize the truth of the Apostle, that baptism "is not the putting away of the filth of the flesh, but the answer of a good conscience toward God" (1 Peter 3:21). I have had many trials in my few years of Christian experience: but thanks be to God, that I sometimes get a foretaste of the sweet grapes of the heavenly Canaan. And I feel like pressing "toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus (Philippians 3:14), and going on in the path of duty; for only such as endure to the end shall be saved (Matthew 10:22). "And I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, shall be able to separate me from the love of God" (Romans 8:38, 39).

[THW 179-181]