At the age of about six years, I became alarmed in relation to my future state, and would steal off to some lonely place to pray, but knew not what to do. I was ashamed and afraid to open my mind to my mother, although she often asked me what was the matter. At ten years of age, I was able to read the Bible, and became more powerfully convicted. The passage of Scripture that bore on my mind at that [172] time, I shall never forget: "Give an account of thy stewardship; for thou mayest be steward no longer" (Luke 16:1-13). I considered that God had committed to my trust that which He would require again, and I was wasting it. I tried to pray, but could not. I wished that there was no eternity. In the course of some time conviction wore off, and nothing special occurred, until about my fifteenth year, when I received another call.

      I was at work for a neighbor, a Baptist, and was overwhelmed with a feeling, as though I must die, and there was no mercy for me. I tried to pray, but could not; and in the evening I made known my thoughts and feelings to that brother, who gave me some good advice. I then went with him to a Baptist meeting, where I was asked some questions, which I answered as well as I could. I was baptized, and united with the church. I owe my thanks to that church for their instruction and pious examples. Yet amidst all this I had no religion, and I soon turned to the world again, and became worse than ever. After some years I married, and after some time, was afflicted with a fever, which almost ended my days; and this awakened me again to my condition.

      We had two children by this time, and it caused us much pain to think that we had never asked God to bless our dear little offspring. We took each one [173] a child, and kneeled down, and agonized in prayer, but found no relief. There was a revival meeting held two miles off, at the time, by the Evangelical Association. We attended it, and my wife and I both found peace to our souls, I in my twenty-second year. God bless those brethren who taught us the better way.

      I soon felt called to preach the gospel, but tried to get rid of the duty--I frequently asked the Lord to remove the burden. But the work appeared to be urged upon me in a dream, which I dreamed twenty times, as follows:--I came to a high and steep mountain, and was required to ascend it. On getting up a short distance, I came to an old ladder, upon which I wished to clamber up to the summit; but it would not bear me. On the top of the hill were many beautiful buildings; and in that place, I was told I had a house, and was to dwell there. In nineteen times of this dream I failed to got up to my desirable home. In the twentieth dream, I was informed by a man in white raiment, that I must go back into the valley and finish my work, and then I might come up. I did as I was bid, and then returned to the ladder, where I found him again, when he conducted me to the top by a way which I had not seen. I then awoke.--Some time after this, I received license to preach, having at length given myself up, to what I was fully convinced was my duty, [174] that I might finish the work assigned me in these low grounds of sorrow, in order to afterwards enjoy one of those mansions on high. I have traveled and preached several years, in the Church of God, and had the happiness to witness the conversion of numbers of precious souls. I feel like living and dying in the service of my God.

[THW 172-175]