I cannot remember much about myself until I was nine years old, more than that I attended Sabbath school, of which I was very fond, and had many impressions made upon my mind there. At that time one of my little brothers, two years older than myself, was brought down upon a dying couch; and a few days before he died, he called me to his bedside, and said to me, "Sis, you must pray." These words sunk deep into my heart; and whilst I have no doubt that my brother is in heaven, I believe that his words were the means of sending conviction to my heart, which was never completely erased until God for Christ's sake pardoned all my sins.

      At first I could not imagine what my brother meant by speaking to me in that way, as I had always, since I could remember anything, been in the habit of repeating little forms of prayer that had been taught me--and he knew it. I then began to think there must be some other way of praying that he knew of. So I began to frame prayers of my own. I longed to be a Christian, but did not know what to do to become one. My dear parents did not profess experimental religion, and I never told [162] any person how I felt. In this way I went on till I was eighteen years of age. I was then advised to attend a course of catechetical lectures, during the continuance of which I shed many tears. On the day of confirmation I was taken into the church; but it was a sorrowful time to me. In endeavoring to assist in singing one of the hymns used ("Alas! and did my Saviour bleed," &c.), my eyes were as fountain of tears; and I really believe, that if I had had instruction from a truly converted person, and been pointed to the Lamb of God, to seek for immediate deliverance from sin, I might have been enabled that day to sing the song of redeeming love. "But when the blind lead the blind, both will fall into the ditch" (Matthew 15:14).

      But, blessed be God--He was not willing that I should perish, but that I should come to a knowledge of the truth. Six months after my confirmation, I removed from my native place, to Ohio. I joined a church here, but was satisfied no better. I tried to think I was a Christian but had no evidence of it.

      In this way I lived for a year longer, when, on visiting another neighborhood, I attended a meeting, where a great deal was said about baptism for the remission of sin. I then thought that was just what I needed. After studying much over it, even till sleep departed from my eyes, I thought I should not find rest till I was baptized. So I had it done, [163] and then for a while thought that all was well, although I did not feel any change of heart, yet believing I had done what the Lord required of me. But I soon found I was not upon the rock, and that I was getting farther away from God. After that, having had no enjoyment in the religion I professed, I began to seek pleasure in dancing and other vain things of the world. But taking sick from dancing one night, and fearing I might die, I promised the Lord, if spared, to lead a better life. After that I never danced again. In about three years the Lord's Spirit took a powerful hold upon me, and I was now fully awakened to a sense of my danger, and had learned what I must do to be saved. At a meeting held by brethren of the Church of God in New Berlin, I presented myself at the altar of prayer several times, and the last time did not rise until I was set free. Then for the first time I could sing with an unburdened heart, swelling with love,

      The next day my husband came out, desiring the prayers of the church, and found peace. My cup of joy was now full. I have had many glorious seasons since, and am determined to serve God till death.

[THW 162-164]