It is now more than fifty-two years, since the Lord spoke peace to my soul. Previous to that happy event I was for more than six weeks under the deepest conviction of my lost and undone condition, as a sinner before that God who has declared that "the wicked shall be turned into hell, with all the nations that forget God" [Psalms 9:17]. Such was the distress of my mind on account of my sins, that I could neither eat nor sleep; and my physical powers failed so fast, that in four weeks I was entirely unable to attend to my daily work. I was indeed sick--sick. both in soul and body. I was an apprentice at the time; and the family I lived with knew not the cause of my distress, and sent for a physician, who was a religious man. I told him that I felt myself to be so great a sinner, that I was afraid the Lord would for ever banish me. He told me "God was merciful, and would pardon and save all who sincerely repent and forsake their sins." I was afraid to try to sleep, lest I should wake up in eternal misery. I read the Scriptures daily, but felt myself shut out from all the precious promises they contained.

      One evening I attended a Baptist meeting, and [143] heard Elder Daniel Dodge preach from the text, "Search the Scriptures; for in them ye think ye have eternal life" (John 5:39). The sermon appeared to be wholly for me, and I formed the resolution never to cease imploring mercy, until I had found it in Jesus, the Worthy One. I was greatly encouraged by the singing of a hymn, after sermon:

      I now viewed the Lord Jesus as the only Physician, "by whose stripes I must be healed" [1 Peter 2:24]. Sunday morning came--it was my eighteenth birth-day.--I spent it fasting, reading and praying. I read the fourteenth chapter of John, then closed the Bible; and opening it again, my eyes fell, to my great encouragement, on the words, "They that be whole need not the physician, but they that are sick,--I came not to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance" (Matthew 9:12, 13); "Look unto me, and be ye saved, all the ends of the earth" (Isaiah 45:22); "This is a faithful saying, and worthy of all acceptation, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners" (1 Timothy 1:15). I read on for about two hours, and came upon the words: "He that believeth and is baptized, shall be saved" (Mark 16:16). By this time I was fully prepared to throw myself into the [144] arms of sovereign Mercy without reserve; and as I did so, I exclaimed (in the full assurance that Christ was not only able to save me, but that He would save me), "Lord, I believe, help thou my unbelief!" [Mark 9:24]. In an instant the weight end burden that oppressed me, was removed--Light shone into my soul, and my sorrow w as turned into joy. My soul seemed to be dissolved into love. O! how I loved the Saviour--his holy name--his blessed word! I pressed the precious book to my bosom, and fell on my knees, fairly lost in wonder, love and praise.--My bodily strength appeared to return; I felt as light as a feather; and when I moved about the room, I scarcely knew whether I walked or flew. O, happy hour! O, happy birth-day! I shall never forget it.

      I now felt that I must go and publish abroad "what great things the Lord Jesus had done for me" [Mark 5:19]. The first person I met was a young man, to whom I related how happy I felt now. I asked him it he ever felt so. He said, "Yes, my young brother; I thank God that about two years ago He brought me to see my lost condition, to repent, and to trust to the Lord Jesus Christ, as the Saviour of poor perishing sinners, and He revealed Himself to me as 'the chief among ten thousand, and as the One altogether lovely'" [Song of Solomon 5:10, 16]. This young man's name [145] was William Jones, and we both lived in Wilmington, Del. For three weeks long, from this time, I experienced nothing but one uninterrupted scene of happiness.

      During these fifty-two years I experienced many of the trials, sorrows and vicissitudes of the life of a Christian, have preached the gospel for a long time, and seen many souls converted to God through the power of faith in Christ; and I can testify to the saving power of the gospel in my own case, as well as in all cases, where it is mixed with faith by those who hear its gladsome sound.

[THW 143-146]