I was blessed with a pious mother, whose constant aim was to instil Christian principles in the hearts of her children. I was sent to sabbath school when very young. At thirteen my religious impressions were deepened and brought into action by quite a simple incident. My sabbath school teacher asked me if I would do him a certain favor on the next day. My answer was, "I will, if I live."

      "If you live!" responded the teacher,--"that's a very common expression, and you do right to use it, but how little do you realize that you may die before to-morrow. If you should die, what have you done for that Saviour who has done so much for you?"

      This was a word in season--it reached my heart. It disturbed me day and night; and I determined to begin and serve God. I made the effort, but the attempt revealed the painful truth to me that "the carnal mind is enmity against God" [Romans 8:7].

      I fought against that greatest truth, and was unwilling to believe it. And now the double burden of my sorrow was, that I had such a heart--a heart that could not love and serve such a Saviour. I knew that I was a great sinner, but, O! to have [71] such a heart--this troubled me most of all. Was it not as depraved as those who cried "Away with Christ--crucify Him! crucify Him" [John 19:15]?

      I mourned before God, and tried for many months to make to myself a new heart; but the more I tried, the more hopeless appeared my case. I found no peace and no evidence of a new heart, until I lost fight of everything but the cross of Christ. At a religious meeting, the congregation were singing the following familiar verse:

      These words directed my mind to the scenes of Gethsemane and Calvary. As I contemplated them, my whole soul became absorbed, and I asked the question again and again, as in the presence of the suffering Saviour, "Will not this suffice?" If Jesus has died, is not that enough? To aid my decision the Spirit brought to my mind such passages as "God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth on Him should not perish, but have everlasting life" [John 3:16], "Come unto me all ye that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest" [Matthew 11:28]. Then, with my whole heart I said, Yes, that will do! Jesus has died!--that is sufficient. This [72] look was to my heart what a look at the brazen serpent was to the bitten Israelite. From that day to this, now twenty-one years, I have rested all my hopes upon the righteousness of a crucified Redeemer.

      Having pledged myself to the Lord, if He would give me a new heart, that I would love and serve Him all my days, I stopped not to confer with flesh and blood. I was baptized, and then said to the church, "Here am I, send me" [see Isaiah 6:8]. After seven years of preparatory study, I entered the arduous but delightful work of the ministry.

      One passage of Scripture has formed the motto of my life and cheered me in all my labors--"Trust in the Lord, and do good; so shalt thou dwell in the land, and verily thou shalt be fed" [Psalms 37:3]. "Trust in the Lord" has been my Calvinism, and "do good" my Arminianism--both together my Christianity.

[THW 71-73]