Once at the hospital, the woman's next-of-kin is established by matching the surname on the bottle of medication with one similarly listed in the address book. A nurse contacts the number, to be told "My mother has made her bed, let her lie in it". Asked for other family members who might want to be contacted, the caller hangs up.
Surgery is undertaken to repair the fractured hip. Several hours later "Ms.X" awakens in the Intensive Care Unit, frightened and confused by the intimidating machinery and unfamiliar sights and sounds. She is told that she will need to remain in ICU for several days. When asked if any family members might want to visit, the woman shakes her head and turns away. On her wall a sign reads: FAMILY MEMBERS ONLY: ONE VISITOR PER PATIENT. Visiting hours are limited.
That same evening, Ms Y, a woman in her early 50's approaches the unit to inquire about the condition of Ms. X. She had waited several hours and many anxious moments wondering about her friend's failure to return home. She is informed that information can only be released to "family members", and that as "just a friend", she cannot visit while the patient is in ICU. Upset, the woman explains that Ms X is estranged from her family, and has been recently prescribed medication for depression. She claims to be "the same thing as family", as Ms. X's "best friend", and that the two women have been housemates for 6 years. This is noted in the chart. Seeing the visitor's anxiety, a nurse explains that Ms X has fractured her hip, that her prognosis is guardedly optimistic, and that, pending further complications, she will be transferred to a ward in a few days, and able to receive "visitors".
Meanwhile, Ms. X suffers in silence, alone with her thoughts and her pain, even amongst the continuous hustle and bustle of the state-of-the art hospital which boasts it has achieved "the highest standard of excellence in the delivery of quality, family-centered care". She refuses to eat, and a psychiatric consult is ordered. This reveals Ms. X to be generally well-adjusted, in a supportive, loving, long-term relationship with another female, but missing her children, who have not accepted her lesbianism. She would like to have more friends, but fears lack of acceptance from both the gay and straight communities, due to her age and sexual orientation. Ms X relies on assistance from her partner to supplement her pension, which is not indexed. She also misses her beloved cat, which has recently died, and feels depressed and lonely, especially during the day.
Ms X has to stay in hospital beyond the normal recovery period due to her ineligibility for home-care services, because she is not covered under her partner's health-insurance plan. Ms Y works full-time during the day, and is worried about coping with the added financial strain of Ms X's recovery, and whether or not "things will get back to normal". Both women fear discrimination on the basis of their sexual orientation, and decide to remain "in the closet", so they can continue to live in their present home and attend their local church, which condemns homosexual behaviour. The local gay community consists of very few older members, and, there are no services to address the needs of aging gays or lesbians. Nursing homes in the area do not provide space or privacy for conjugal visits, even for heterosexual residents, and deny the existence of gays or lesbians among their inpatient populations. The community's Senior's Resource Centre provides bereavement- counseling, among its other services, but to date, only heterosexual clients have used the service. It just doesn't pay to be old and gay!!!
Although this account is purely fictional, it portrays many of the experiences that elderly gays and lesbians living in a predominately heterosexist society must endure. This is borne out repeatedly in a disheartening report (1997) on needs in Winnipeg, conducted by the Sum Quod Sum Foundation Inc. This foundation is mandated to provide facilities, services and educational programming for older gay men and lesbians. Gay men and lesbians 55 years of age and over were surveyed to identify their needs. They found most senior lesbians and gay men were living alone, at incomes below the poverty line, and isolated from siblings, children, and extended families. Many are also isolated from the larger gay and lesbian community, and are seriously at risk. Their plight is accentuated by the reluctance of existing senior's organizations to address gay positive programming.
For highlight of a recent literature review of the needs of LGBTQ seniors try Gay and Lesbian Seniors. For a summary of findings of a recent needs assessment of LGBTQ seniors in Winnipeg Manitoba, try Needs of Gay and Lesbian Seniors.
Gail's reference list used for this article can be found at Reference List.
http://www.ourtownvillages.com/
http://www.asaging.org/lgain.html