I am off for a long overdue week of vacation and so I am in a laughing mood
August 19th, 2011

I am off for a long overdue week of vacation and so I am in a laughing mood. Here is a recent posting from Inside Higher Ed that’s bound to give you a giggle or two. Some of you probably collect these unpolished gems.

“Exam Howlers”  by Sarah Cunnane

The student who wrote in a semiotics exam that “language is a system of sins” could well have been referring to this year’s Times Higher Education “exam howlers” competition.

That entry, submitted by Daniel Chandler, lecturer in media and communication studies at Aberystwyth University, was one of scores sent in to the annual contest, in which lecturers are invited to share their favorite mistakes and misunderstandings.

In a paper marked by Karen Devlin of the University of Hull, a student translated the phrase “pash of tallow” – meaning “head of wax” – in Seamus Heaney’s poem “Strange Fruit” as “having a crush on a fatty substance.”

Helen Steele, tutorial assistant at Swansea University, entered several howlers from a “Europe of Extremes” history module. According to one student, “the Sixth Army became trapped in a huge pocket during their attempts to take the city.” Whether a tiny army or a rather large item of clothing was envisaged is not clear.

Another, perhaps suffering the after-effects of one too many BBC costume dramas, confidently stated: “The third estate caused tension to arouse between the bourgeoisie and the nobles.”

This was not the only example of inadvertent sexual innuendo. Ann Wood, of the department of biochemistry at King’s College London, had a student on a food science and technology course who advised using a “genital mixing action.”

“I think the student meant ‘gentle,’ ” Wood writes.  “But it was wrong anyway.”

Peter J. Smith, reader in Renaissance literature at Nottingham Trent University, was warned by one student that “premature ejaculation could be a touchy subject” in an essay on John Rochester’s poem “The Imperfect Enjoyment.”

Two howlers gave life to traditionally strictly theoretical subjects. Eileen Reid, widening outreach officer at the Glasgow School of Art, recalls marking an essay on Jean-Jacques Rousseau that referred to “Professor Nobel Savage.”

And the student who simplified a subject by writing about it “in Lehman’s terms” baffled Iain Woodhouse, senior lecturer in the School of Geosciences at the University of Edinburgh, until he read the phrase aloud (“layman’s terms” was intended).

Pity, too, the poor interviewing techniques of a man of the cloth cited in an exam paper marked by Gary Day, principal lecturer in English at De Montfort University, which said that “the priest killed her so he could get information from her.”

David O’Connor, professor of microbiology in the Center for Biological Sciences at the University of Southampton, was party to the startling claim that a runny nose may be more to worry about than it seems, as “mucus is a vicious, thick substance.”

While students have provided much merriment, it is to be expected that some academics take such errors as an affront to their skills as lecturers. But after reading the statement that “American power is based on superheroes,” Jason Dittmer, lecturer in human geography at University College London, lamented: “I clearly need to teach this material better.”

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As entries largely based in the UK, these examples are a little more sophisticated than usual—again, unintentionally so. But just this week in a column in the Chronicle of Higher Ed, a writer points out that Business students at one university crafted a survey question this way: “do you feel that dyeing your hair purple helps your self of steam?”

Love it. Actually, the columnist reflects on keeping the “absolutely perfect mistake,” and goes on to explain the term for it—that is, a “mondegreen, a misheard or misapprehended oral expression. The term was coined in 1954 in Harper’s magazine by the writer Sylvia Wright, who for years thought the folk-song lyric “laid him on the green” was actually “Lady Mondegreen.”

I am sure we all have our own personal mondegreens.  There are a million of them, and some actually make more sense than the original lyrics. Take, for famous example: Oh Canada, we stand on cars and freeze….

I’ll be working on my own self of steam over the next few days, assisted by really warm weather, I hope.

Dr. Faye Murrin is Dean pro tempore of the School of Graduate Studies and Associate Professor in the Department of Biology. She completed her B.Sc. (Hons.) at Memorial University, her M.Sc. at Acadia University, and her Ph.D. at Queen's University. Her research interests have always been focused on fungi, in particular the cell biology of insect pathogenic fungi and, more recently, the ecology of mycorrhizal mushrooms in the boreal forest. Dr. Murrin has served in a number of positions on the Council of the Mycological Society of America and was awarded the title of MSA Fellow for her contributions. She was awarded the Women in Science and Engineering Lifetime Membership Award as founding co-director of the Women in Science and Engineering (WISE) Summer Program. Dr. Murrin participates in public lectures and workshops, and is a Director on the board of Newfoundland Foray, Inc.

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