Oceans Protection Plan

reading between the lines...

Whether facing the Atlantic, Pacific or Arctic oceans, the health and protection of our coasts are critical to our environment, our economy[we want to get more crude oil and bitumen exported ASAP, so we’re laying down this smokescreen now] and to all Canadians[actually, who we are really concerned about is oil companies interests and oil revenues, but this announcement is meant to cover this up]. Today, Canada[the government of Canada, perpetual climate change action delayers, pathological liars and promoters of fossil fuel extraction and export] is announcing a marine safety[read industry friendly propaganda] plan that meets – or exceeds – international standards [we want you to think international standards are high, but really, think Deepwater Horizon oil spill] and is supported by commitments to Indigenous co-management[we know these disadvantaged people are likely to object strenuously and actually might be able to cause trouble for Big Oil so we are working proactively to neutralize their opposition], environmental protections[which given the gutted Fisheries Act, which we have failed to properly restore, and the Migratory Bird Treaty Act that we pretty much ignor, amount to almost nothing significant], and science-based['Canadian government science' being an oxymoron, referring in fact to results fitting government policies] standards.  

Canada[apparently the largest Banana Republic in the Americas] has the longest coastline in the world. Our coasts support traditional Indigenous and coastal community livelihoods[that are totally compromised by increased oil tanker traffic], enable the export and import of our goods[read BITUMEN and crude oil] overseas, are home to abundant Canadian fisheries[that have mostly been wiped out by overfishing and habitat destruction related to unregulated resource extraction promoted by us], attract tourism[that supports far more Canadian jobs than the oil industry, but has relatively little political influence], and play a key role in strengthening the economy[read BITUMEN and crude oil exports] and growing our middle class[oops, did we say 'class', read oil and gas pipeline workers].

[Oil company lobbyists told us that]It is therefore vital for Canada to have a plan[read propaganda] to ensure that [the public are bamboozled into believing that]our coasts are protected in a modern and advanced way[using the latest tricks, lies and market research] that ensures environmental sustainability[read continuing hegemony of multinational oil companiesand massive fossil fuel exports never mind what], safe and responsible commercial use[meaning whatever Big Oil tells us they are willing to put up with], and collaboration[read bribing] with coastal and Indigenous communities[we had to mention THEM again, for political purposes].

In order to meet these objectives[read Kinder Morgan's Trans Mountain pipeline expansion, and the ongoing unregulated offshore oil and gas activity in Atlantic Canada], the Prime Minister today announced a $1.5 billion national Oceans Protection Plan[paid for out of your tax dollars to promote the private commercial interests of multinational oil companies, yet another subsidy for this disastrous industry].

The Oceans Protection[read Pipeline and Crude Oil Tanker Promotion] Plan has four main priority areas:

• creating a world-leading[i.e., as in the Deepwater Horizon oil rig and the Canada Newfoundland and Labrador Offshore Petroleum Board] marine safety system that improves responsible shipping and protects Canada’s waters[just as the Canadian Government has protected the Great Lakes from invasive species delivered by shipping], including new preventive and response [having trained spokespersons ready to disseminate whatever the oil biz lobbyists tell us to]measures[really, we want you to believe this but it's basically nonsense, hopefully you won’t check into this further];


• restoring and protecting the marine ecosystems and habitats[yup, we are saying this again but really we are moving in the exact opposite direction, hopefully you will be too stupid to notice], using new tools and research[read all available means of disseminating pro-fossil fuel industry propaganda], as well as taking measures to address abandoned boats and wrecks[we only stuck this in because of various inconvenient outrages that have been in the news];


• strengthening partnerships[read keeping foreign oil interests happy] and launching co-management practices[attempted bribes and make-work projects using public money, that do not detract from the interests of multinational oil companies] with Indigenous communities, including building local emergency response capacity[read pork barrel make-work projects to get consent for our disastrous policies from the locals who might otherwise cause trouble]; and,


• investing in oil spill cleanup research[we know that we absolutely cannot clean up marine oil spills outside of protected harbors but we are repeating this outrageous nonsense because you always seemed to believe our previous lies about this] and methods to ensure that decisions taken in emergencies are evidence based[read politically correct and approved of by oil industry lobbyists and Canadian government public relations spin doctors].

The Oceans Protection[read Pipeline and Crude Oil Export Promotion] Plan was developed based on work done over the past two years between Indigenous and coastal communities and various government programs[read we’ve been working on a scheme to promote oil, gas and bitumen exports from British Columbia never mind what and this is the lame scam we’ve come up with so far, which we are using your money to pay for even though it’s mainly to promote the interests of multinational oil companies], and will be implemented next year[in time to promote the traffic as many bitumen-loaded tankers as we can fit into British Columbia waters as soon as possible]."

This page is maintained by Ian L. Jones (iljones 'at' mun.ca)